The other night I was watching PARENTHOOD. The season was just beginning and in this episode they were preparing to send their oldest child off to college, who would be going to an out of state school. The last scene of the show were them telling her goodbye in the airport. She was walking off but kept looking back at her parents. This was making me cry and think about my two boys. I have been a single mom of two boys who are 14 and 16 now. They are in 8th and 11th grade. I will be facing this real soon with my oldest son. My thoughts were "OMG what I am going to do, they both will be leaving me soon to start their next chapter of their life without me." I have always put them first and myself last. I want to hold onto them a little longer but I know I need to be letting them grow up into the young men I am raising them to be. Zach is my oldest and he is in football, track, and participates in the Scottish games. He has plans to major in marine biology and attend an out of state school. He has his plan in order and I will be there to walk him through this. Michael is my youngest and right now is more interested in his girlfriend and friends than mom. This really bothers me. In less than two years Zach will be graduating and heading off to college, this will leave me and Michael in this big house. Michael has plans of becoming a chef and opening up his own restaurant. He is involved in baseball and acting. He has many talents as well. He draws very well. But he seems to focus on other things rather then developing these skills. I also worry that we won't have the same type of relationship as Zach and I do. We do butt heads daily. I am also not ready to be alone when both of them do leave the nest.
Each day grows me closer to Zach's graduation. I am marking his games with videos, pictures, and scrap booking his achievements. Each day I try to keep my connections with both my sons. I hope they know how much I have given up for them to become great men. I am so proud of each of them in their own ways. I thought I should start blogging about my experience of these last few years I have left with them in my nest. Let me tell you I don't want to let them go. I might be a little selfish cause I want them here to protect them and make sure they do the right things. (and not to be alone)
